The Food of Love

On the value of Valentine's Day traditions

“Why make such a fuss over Valentine’s Day, when we have only just begun to recover from the Mom Olympics? I use Valentine’s Day to teach my children how to love people.” Thus begins Lane Scott in her recent article A Matriarch's Valentine to Her Family

Valentine’s Day was already a week ago, and yet I’ve been thinking about it and about this article ever since. In some ways, it feels like Valentine’s Day is just another hallmark holiday, created to get you to spend more money and buy more things that are of little true beauty or lasting value. Why do anything at all when’s it’s often a garish and silly affair? And yet, as the article above says, Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to teach your kids about the actions of love.

When my siblings and I were younger and all still living at home, we wanted to do something special for mom and dad for Valentine’s Day. Mom suggested making a meal for them and so we did. This simple beginning grew into an exclusive, one-night--a-year restaurant titled Sous la Maison, that always had a reservation for two on Valentine’s Day. We would decorate the basement with every pink and red pillow and blanket we could find, set up a folding table with red and white layered tablecloths and a setting of china. We started with recipes from our kid cookbooks (shout out to Emeril Lagasse’s), and soon morphed into more and more elaborate themes and dishes: German, French, Italian, Greek, leg of lamb, steak, kebabs, garlic onion bisque, bacon cauliflower soup, orzo salad, french bread, shrimp francesca, baklava, cheesecake, crepes, macarons, gelato. There was so much excitement and joy in planning the new year’s menu, in thinking of things we had never tried before and boldly taking them on. Many of the recipes we tried (and we always tried new ones) became staples that we still make frequently. And we had so much fun designing menus for the table, imitating professional wait staff while serving, and spending the day together in the kitchen. Mom and dad never knew what they would be eating until they arrived at the table (after being barred from the kitchen for hours).

Now that we siblings have moved out, Sous la Maison hasn’t opened in a few years. However, I still think of the great memories every year. I still think of how much our willingness to try new complicated recipes stems back to this tradition. As Lane Scott writes, “Not a Valentine’s Day will go by for their entire lives where they don’t at least think of me. I know because I think of my mom every year, and how she always did fun stuff for us. Little things, faithfully, year after year. And now I always get her a Valentine, I always make her an Easter basket, and I always get her birthday and Christmas trinkets. It’s just a way of having continuity through the generations and sort of keeping yourself present in your kids’ minds after they are grown.” Maybe you’re the one giving, or you’re the one receiving on Valentine’s Day, and hopefully it’s both, but the giving and the receiving both tie you and your loved ones together and make up the memories of a life well lived.

Valentine’s Day is over for the year and the more somber season of Lent is on the doorstep. But I would encourage you all to read this wonderful article anyway, with some great ideas and wisdom. Perhaps you’ll feel inspired to make a few little holidays in the year into big memories.

A Matriarch's Valentine to Her Family